Week 1

One glorious week....it feels like a month! 
I have eaten whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I have watched what I wanted on TV and left the volume on high on my laptop. I left the volume on my phone for playing games and left my shoes under the coffee table until there were so many pairs they were crawling out.

My clothes were piled on the floor until I did laundry today. I worked out, worked a ton in the backyard everyday and got up early today to run in a 5K benefit for Lucile Packard Children's Hospital at Stanford, where The Biologist was treated. It was a beautiful run through the Stanford Campus. While I was extremely proud of my finishing time, I was surprised to find I was 4/50 in my age group. There were some awfully fast women in the run.

This was the absolute coolest....there was a kiosk at the end...you typed in your bib number and your time came up! The best part of coming in faster than 10 minute miles is that there is no crowd at the finish....I got my time, walked through the water and food tables and then through the booths for all the freebies before it got crowded.

I have two more days of the house to myself. BIG Foot will be driving The Captain home and I will have to have the house picked up....or they will think I have lost my marbles :)

But the backyard will be unrecognizable and hopefully the inside of the house will not. I am sooooo enjoying summer!

*LIVESTRONG*LIVESTRONGER*LAUGH HARDER*ENJOY SUMMER* 

I HAVE NEVER NEEDED A SUMMER VACATION THIS MUCH.....

.....well, maybe when had 3 small children and I drove 25 to 30 minutes to work each day...with those little kids in tow....or when The Biologist was dx with cancer....but I really, really needed summer to get here this year.

I had never skipped a summer before. Last year, I got out of school on June 25. I had Thursday and Friday off work....and then on Monday I began my week of camp. I worked Monday, Tuesday and almost all of Wednesday at camp....then at 11:45 my cell phone rang...I was literally elbow deep in 3-5 year olds washing red finger paint from hands and arms....the call was from The Coach...he had found The Captain down in the driveway. Paramedics were there and they needed to talk to me.

...I had run to work and had no car...the Rec Dept was not answering my phone call and there was no one to take my class...FINALLY a parent showed, I asked her to dismiss the kids but she wasn't sure she knew the parents,- (Seriously in 3 days I didn't know the parents either as a mom or dad would drop off and a nanny, friend or another parent would pick up,) another mom came and I sprinted out of the room to The Coach who had come to pick me up.


I arrived at the emergency room to find it much worse than what I was told. The Captain was no longer conscious- he was writhing in pain, moaning and rolling side to side with his knees pulled up. The well seasoned ICU nurse looked at me and asked if I was the wife. "Yes. I want to see him but I don't want to get in your way."

She had me come to the side of the gurney where I kissed is forehead. He was not clammy, he was beyond that point- his forehead was cold. I told him I was there but he had no idea. A young nurse was putting sensors on his chest to monitor his heart and each time he moaned she meekly said, "sorry."

 An astute cardiac anesthesiologist came in and took one look at the ultrasound and said, "We need a CT Scan RIGHT NOW. Pericardial effussion."  

I sat down after handing my insurance card to the receptionist and no more than 2 minutes passed when the nurse returned and said to come upstairs...The Captain was going straight into surgery.

The anesthesiologist walked by just then. I asked if he had finished his Rock Star energy drink and he said "almost." "Good" I replied, "I want you awake in there.

Once upstairs I began making phone calls. The Biologist had planned to come over so I could take her to the airport the next day....she was on her way. The Botanist was more difficult. It was 8 a.m. in Auckland...I could not call her so I messaged on Words With Friends - "CALL ME" - Within minutes she called but she only had enough international minutes to hear, "Dad is in surgery," and the phone went dead. She was crying, running through Auckland trying to find a store to buy minutes for her phone. Big Foot was at work and I had just mailed him his new cell phone- I vaguely remembered the name of his work where I had mailed his phone...411 connected me. He would leave the next day. The Botanist called back. Her passport was with the government as she was applying for residency and she couldn't buy tickets without it....thankfully N Zed is a small, trusting country....her boyfriend was able to go downtown and pick up her passport- then she could arrange her flight. 

Two good friends showed up to wait with me. The nurse came by with updates- "Call your children home," the polite way of saying he was dying.

HOURS....

More phone calls. 

Another update. Things had settled down and were going more smoothly. Weeks later, reading the hospital report, The Captain became "combative" once in surgery. It is fighting for your life- happens often. Dr. Castro said The Captain had perhaps a minute of life left once in the operating room. Thankfully the doctors were at the hospital and not in surgery. Dr. Castro said if this happened at night The Captain would not have survived. Dr. Surh was on his way home when he was called back to the hospital. Dr. Harmon, who I did not like because on his way into surgery he said, "We know what it is- it's what John Ritter had- and he died."

A family friend who was a nurse at Sequoia and her husband came to sit with us. She asked who the surgeon was...when I told her Dr. Castro, she said "He's the best surgeon around."

Another hour...another visit from the nurse...still going okay in there, things have settled down....and now The Biologist and her boyfriend had arrived. 

FINALLY...I saw Dr. Castro coming towards the room...I jumped up and saw that he was smiling...he said The Captain was doing okay. He would be in ICU soon and I could see him...he would be heavily sedated. He gave me his hand to shake but I said that was not good enough and I gave him a big hug.

My friends left...I messaged The Botanist that Dad was okay...I called BIG Foot. It was a lot longer than I expected before The Captain was in ICU and they let The Biologist and I in. The nurse who led me in was a runner....she was short and stout. I told her she looked familiar and she said it must be all the runs I pass her in....not true but we had a little bonding moment- then she stopped a few feet from The Captain's room and said, "I need to warn you that he doesn't look good...there are a lot of tubes and a mask." I told her I had spent a lot of time in hospitals and I am sure I would be okay.

Aside from machines and tubes, The Captain looked so much better than when I saw him in ER. He had color, he was warm, and he was repaired. I kissed his head and he was not cold...he was very much alive.

I took The Biologist home, got something to eat and went back and sat with The Captain. His nurse asked me, "Does he have a nick-name?" 

"Russ, I guess,"

"Well I am calling him 'Lucky'"

Later I found out that an aortic dissection carries a 95% mortality rate in the U.S. Luck is the only reason he survived.

The first night was the only time The Captain was peaceful. The medications made him agitated. He pulled out any tube, drain, sensor, he could get a hold of. I was there every minute I was allowed to be in ICU and then some....I was often called back by the nurses as he calmer if I was around. 

13 days later he was out of ICU and into the cardiac wing of the hospital. He was disoriented, thought we were on vacation and wondered how I had found this "hell hole!" He "hoped I was getting my money back!" His memory was poor and after a scan we found he had suffered a stroke which effected his vision. He was even harder to keep in his room now that he was mobile. I had very little sleep and was constantly answering questions and repeating myself. His heart was in A-Fib since surgery and nothing was helping it. The Dr's all agreed that he needed his heart "zapped" with paddles but they had been reluctant as it could cause another stroke. They inserted a camera to see if there were any clots in his heart....when they saw there were none, they hit him with the paddles. On the first try his heart was back to normal beating. I was exhausted from sleeping at the hospital and being woken up all night- and the stress of the procedure which I had given my consent for....that was potentially deadly. After the "zap" The Captain was recharged....he was giving me a hard time for being tired. I had "hit the wall."

Rehab- 5 days of hell...a story for another post.

As the end of summer neared I did not know if I was going to be able to leave him at home while I went to work. The Botanist went back to New Zealand as a resident. BIG Foot returned for his last semester in college, The Biologist came when she could but she was starting a new job at a new school...we did go to her room and help set up...it was one of our first outings.

A lot has passed in past 350 days...The Captain is much better. His vision has not improved so he is not driving yet. His long term memory is back...his short term is pretty good, but misc info is forgotten quickly and he is distracted and then forgets what he was going to do. He walks everywhere and gets rides to cardio workout from the PJCC- Peninsula Jewish Community Center....they are a godsend!  He is more relaxed and more back to the man I married....(except for the memory stuff.)

So for DAY #3 of my summer vacation....it couldn't come soon enough....I am going to enjoy every minute of every day! I have worked in the backyard, worked out, cleaned, watched some HGTV, and run errands and painted a shelf. I have a book to start reading- last summer was the first summer that I can remember that I didn't read a ton of books. 

*LIVESTRONG*LOVESTRONGER*LAUGH HARDER*ENJOY SUMMER*